What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

{RING} {RING}

Which feels physically better for guys: vaginal sex or anal sex?

Sure no problem officer.

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

After a few moments he returns.

What are your darkest taboo confessions?

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

Yes sir it is.

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

I dreamt my mother had died and I cried so much in my dream. What does it mean?

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

Why do wives cheat with black guys?

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

If atheists are so positive that there is no God, where is their proof that He does not exist?

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

HELLO